


Trying, trying to be

by lesbianjackrackham



Series: Many trains and many miles [2]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Crack, F/F, I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianjackrackham/pseuds/lesbianjackrackham
Summary: Anyway, it’s Minkowski’s fault that Doug feels comfortable snuggling up to him on the couch and falling asleep in his lap and, apparently, kissing him in public.[post series. finale spoilers]





	Trying, trying to be

Jacobi read someplace, once upon a time, that it takes 10,000 hours to form a habit. And since Doug is like, three weeks old at this point, it doesn’t make any sense that he would shuffle down to breakfast and kiss Jacobi on the top of his head with a murmured “morning” before heading to the coffee maker. Like it’s a regular, perfectly normal thing to do.

In front of everyone.

Minkowski, not so subtly, picks up her knife and glares at him.

(Him Jacobi. There is no universe where Minkowski glares at Doug. This Doug. Whatever.)

“Morning,” he manages, and he’s like 80% sure he’s blushing so he shoves a forkful of waffles into his mouth before he can say anything stupid.

They’re back on Earth and trapped in a safe house while the US government decides what to do with them, which has led to a lot of forced domesticity and group meals and “No, Jacobi, you can’t hide in your room all day, we’re going to show Doug another movie and hope he turns back into the person we used to know while pretending I’m not sad that my husband hasn’t found us yet.”

He might be paraphrasing a bit.

Anyway, it’s Minkowski’s fault that Doug feels comfortable snuggling up to him on the couch and falling asleep in his lap and, apparently, kissing him in public.

“Sleep well, Doug?” Lovelace asks, because she’s evil.

“Yeah,” says Doug, yawning again. “I don’t think I’m a morning person though.”

“More of a late night person, am I right?”

Jacobi kicks her under the table.

“Uh…”

“Doug,” says Minkowski, still glaring at Jacobi, “I want to make sure you know… if there’s anything you wanted to tell us—we’re here for you. About anything.” Doug looks at Minkowski, and then he looks at Jacobi. Jacobi takes another bite of waffles.

“Oh my god,” he says, “you said they’d be weird, but—"

“ _I told you._ ”

“Jacobi,” says Minkowski, pinching the bridge of her nose, “you really shouldn’t...”

“What did I do? Doug was the one—”

“Hey, dude, you kissed me first.”

“Yeah, but _hey_ , whose side are you on here?”

“Yours, I think?”

“ _You think?_ ”

“Um,” says Doug, and then he grabs his head and winces loudly. “Ah, my poor brainwashed riddled… brain.” Minkowski nearly jumps across the table with her knife, but Lovelace manages to hold her back.

“Jacobi!”

“They’re not having sex yet,” says Hera, chiming in for no reason except to exact some kind of revenge on him. And sure, he probably deserves it, but that’s not the fucking point. Jacobi slides down as far as he can in his chair while Doug drops the carton of milk he’d just gotten from the fridge.

“ _Hera_...” Jacobi whines.

“Though I guess that depends on your definition of sex...” She muses and Jacobi dies, right there, at the table.

“Hera, that is... this is entirely inappropriate breakfast conversation, and I would ask that you...”

“Oh please, Commander. As the only one in this house who’s not getting any, and who has to watch and listen to the rest of you, at all times, _might I remind you_ , I think I’m allowed to decide what can or can’t be said at the breakfast table.”

Minkowski’s gone completely red and started sputtering unconvincing and incomplete arguments. Jacobi reaches under the table and subtly high fives Lovelace. Game recognizes game. Meanwhile, Doug’s managed to make a bigger mess of the milk, because even though he can’t remember his time on the Hephaestus, he keeps dropping things and expecting them to still be floating next to him. Like a full roll of paper towels now soaking in a large puddle of milk.

It’s kind of adorable.

“It’s not the same!” Minkowski finally manages to blurt out, and Hera just laughs.

“How isn’t it the same? You’re Lovelace’s commanding officer.”

“Yeah, she is!”

“ _Shut up_ , Isabel. Look, Doug is going through some very complicated…”

“Uh,” says Doug, looking up from the milk. “I’m right here.”

“I know you are Doug, but—”

“Look, Renée, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since— And also before my brain did the thing, obviously, but, uh. But I’m still, you know. A human? With desires? And Daniel’s helping me figure out my shit, and we’re having fun, so, what’s the harm? And to clarify, because— I don’t even know why you would think it, but he’s not like, taking advantage of me in any kind of way. Hell, he’s the one keeping us from having sex.”

Doug points at him during that last sentence, and Jacobi slides all the way to the floor. Hera gags, and Minkowski looks almost offended until her face goes incredibly, and almost frighteningly blank. He doesn’t have a great angle from under the table, and just a second too late he realizes he’s lying in the milk.

“Um,” says Pryce from somewhere in the room, and holy hell when did she get here? Was she here the whole time? And who gave her waffles? “Hera, if it helps, I am also not getting any?”

Instead of responding, Hera just screams and short-circuits her speakers.

**Author's Note:**

> some of this was posted to tumblr @lesbianjackrackham. the rest of it just kind of happened


End file.
